Finnish as a World Language
"The problem we now face is how to convince the remaining 99.95% of the global population to learn Finnish." (More...)
Would you like to imagine what I do whenever I open my mouth in Czech? The above article captures the experience and, surprisingly hilariously, the thought process. When you read the next excerpt, substitute Czech for Finnish/Finn, eliminate a few cases, and throw gender into the mix for good measure. Enjoy:
When you are about to use a noun, always reflect according to the following pattern:
· Which is the corresponding noun in Finnish?
· Singular or plural?
· What case? Nominative, accusative, genitive, essive, partitive, translative, inessive, elative, illative, adessive, ablative, allative, abessive, comitative or instructive?
· Is it possible to avoid using the noun?
After you have contemplated this during the proverbial fraction of a second, take a deep breath and pronounce the first half of the noun in a huge, booming voice. Then gradually weaken the voice so that by the time you pronounce the case ending, it is only in a hoarse whisper. This method of demonstrating your mastery of case usage is completely safe since, although you cannot prove that you were right, nobody, Finn or otherwise, can ever prove that you were wrong. Above all, look confident.
And an often interesting blog by an aspiring comparative linguist who often discusses Finno-Ugric languages.