Why I couldn't find any ice cream bars to buy at Interspar last night? There were a lot of tubs of frozen stuff posing as ice cream, but when you looked closer you found out that it was a weird chemical conglomerate. I shouldn't have expected anything more at a large chain store (what can I say, it must've been an ice cream binge and there aren't many options at 8 p.m. on a weekday evening in the country's second largest city). All I really wanted was a Haagen-Dazs bar with dark chocolate over vanilla ice cream or maybe even something like Ben & Jerry's. But nothing of the sort was to be found. I didn't even find any ice cream bars in bulk (I wanted more than one to take home). There were some that you could buy individually, and I picked a very unsatisfactory vanilla one with a strange white frosting. The unsuccessful ice cream bar kept me wondering, what would my evening have been like had I made another choice? Could it be that those ice creams I rejected, the ones hidden away under strange labels marked "Pinko," "UFO," and "Magnum," might have been better? They didn't sound like ice cream, but who knows.